Autism Is the New Black

I’m going to make some very un-PC comments here, so if I offend anyone…well, get your own blog and gripe about it there! 

     All children melt down occasionally. It’s a moment all parents dread. It’s never convenient, it’s never fun, and it’s always very public and very embarrassing. I believe it’s even more so with an autistic child. My daughter looks completely normal, and that’s a problem. My daughter acts completely normal (sometimes), and that’s a problem. From the outside, my daughter gives every impression that she is a normal child, and because of that she is judged as such, AND THAT IS A PROBLEM!

     When we go shopping my daughter will inevitably latch onto something and it becomes hers. It isn’t always what you might imagine it to be; sometimes it's a box of crackers, sometimes a package of socks. More often than not it’s lip gloss. She LOVES lip gloss! But once she finds “her” item my anxiety begins. Soon, very soon, we will have to check out and the shrieking will begin. “Mine!  Mine!  MINE!” You can hear her shrieking that phrase at the checkouts all the way in bathrooms at the back of the store. 

     So back to what I was saying, all children melt down occasionally. When a child with say, Down Syndrome melts down, everyone tisk, tisks and gives the parent a sympathetic nod. When an individual with a physical difference has an issue people are kind, sympathetic, generous. But when my “normal looking” child is shrieking “MINE” at the top of her considerable lungs I get eye rolls, sighs, pointed glances, and cleared throats. (I have also gotten some unsolicited comments about my lack of parenting skills,but let’s not go there tonight.)

     Perhaps the reason I’m so touchy about all of that is because I was the person doing the eye rolling, not four short years ago. I was firmly of the opinion that children should be seen and not heard and if you were going to take a child out into a public area that child had best not act inappropriately (and I wasn’t talking about appropriate for their age I was speaking of appropriate for any age). Basically, I didn’t want to be bothered by someone else’s choice to procreate. And to some extent I still have the exact same view. Except now it goes a little like, I have my own kids to take care of; don’t make me parent yours too. But back to the present….

     The T days provide Myriam and me some much needed Mommy and Me time. While the boys are away (at school) the girls will play. Last Thursday, after we dropped the boys off, Myriam and I decided to do what any normal, corn fed, Kansas girl does when she has $20 burning a hole in her pocket. We went garage sale-ing!  First stop was a winner! We found cookie cutters for a nickel and some really cute shirts for Myriam (a bag full for less than $3!). We put our purchases on the table to get them totaled up and pay when the shrieking began. “Mine, Mine, MINE!” The woman putting our things into bags quickly hands Myriam the bag full of cookie cutters. Myriam takes the bag and looks inside, resumes shrieking, and pitches the bag of cookie cutters at the woman's head. The woman adding up our purchases snickers (along with many of the people in line behind us), and the woman bagging up the items quickly stuffs some shirts in another bag and hands Myriam the half full bag of shirts. Myriam snatches it from the woman and rips the shirts out of the bag, muttering something I can’t make out. The woman tentatively extends a hand to Myriam containing two last shirts. Myriam RIPS them from the woman’s hand and SNARLS, “DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!” The hall that this particular sale is being held in erupts into laughter. I duck my head and slink out the door. Yeah, Autism is cool!