The best part about having children is that somehow the act of having said kids is an open invitation for unsolicited advice. Everyone just seems to assume that because you chose to reproduce you don’t have a brain in your head and that you very much need help. And just maybe they're right....
Throughout your pregnancy people will tell you what not to eat, what to do, and how you should feel. They also feel that they have the right to touch your belly without the courtesy of even knowing you!! And that’s just the beginning of the indignity. Frankly, pregnancy is full of indignities! In fact so many that we shall leave that for another day.
So since we are on the subject of unsolicited advice here’s a little more….
1. Sushi while PG? There are an awful a lot of Japanese people in the world. That’s all I’m saying….
2. Wine while PG? There are a lot of Europeans too!
3. Children will live without designer diapers, shoes, clothes, and toys.
4. Picky eater? Children will eat WHATEVER you give them if they are hungry enough.
5. Giving children whiskey to sooth teething and aid in sleep? Well, it does work!
6. Germs? Highly over dramatized!
7. Dirt? See number six.
8. Babies are very delicate and must be handled with extreme care. Yeah, right? Ever watch a Neonatal Nurse handle a baby? Ever watch a C-Section? Delicate my ass!
9. Consistency is the way to raise children! I don’t believe that any parent has/was/is 100% consistent and yet most of us turned out to be fairly well-adjusted adults despite it.
10. If a child isn’t potty trained by age two than the parent has done something wrong. Anyone who has read my blog knows that that is the most ridiculous statement ever uttered by another person. Obviously, that person has either never had children or has really screwed up their kids and wants to make themselves feel better by making you feel worse.
Frankly as a parent of three, all of whom are under the age of four, I have received more than my fair share of parenting advice, solicited or otherwise. My favorite (and by favorite I mean the one that made me furious to the point of striking the person) was delivered from a very well meaning friend of the family. My daughter loves to hang upside down and twirl (I should mention that my daughter is autistic and these tendencies may be autism related) and when she was an infant we used to spin her around and tip her upside down. She was always a very stoic child, even as an infant and this was one of the few ways we could get her to smile and laugh. She was always safely handled and never in any danger but said “friend” all but accused us of child abuse and was certain that we would kill brain cells by turning her upside down. And although she has never said it to us, we have been told that she mentioned to other members of the family that this behavior is the reason Myriam is autistic. AHHHH!!!!
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| All of my children love to hang upside down! Although sometimes I wonder if maybe that's what's wrong with Porter! (giggle) |
