Hi and welcome to my blog. I really think parents need to lighten up; I mean, if parenting was meant to be a serious endeavor they'd offer classes! Oh, wait....
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Friday, March 9, 2012

Diet Tips and My Real Weight

     I've been on this weight loss journey since December 8th--three months to the day (I write my posts a minimum of the day ahead). And frankly, up until the past two weeks I haven't struggled with the program at all. In fact it's been pretty easy. The past two weeks though, have been my own personal version of Hell.

I've been hungry CONSTANTLY.

    Nothing I ate remotely satisfied me and eventually I fell off the proverbial weight loss wagon. The low point was eating Carmel ice cream sauce by the spoonful--straight from the container, fridge door standing wide open I was out of ice cream or maybe, after that failed to sate my appetite, when I decided to make my own version of Rocky Road ice cream by shoving a few almonds in my mouth along with some semi-sweet chocolate chips and then taking a bite of a marshmallow. I told you I'd hit rock bottom!

     Well yesterday (today) I had to come clean with my indiscretions, face the music and step on that scale. The entire drive to the meeting I tried to tell myself that it was ok, everyone has those weeks. I just have to get back on program. I reminded myself that just coming to the meeting and facing what I'd done was a victory in itself. I would be fine with a gain--it would serve as a wake up call! Basically I lied to myself. After I told the leader that I had had a horrible couple of weeks and that I was sure I gained I stepped on the scale and to my amazement, I lost 3.8 lbs.
     So it got me to thinking, and now I'm going to share with you my secret to eating the contents of your kitchen and still losing weight. Preparation is key and most of these things must be done the day before in order to achieve maximum results.*
  • The day before weigh in, you must drink enough water that you're pissing Evian. Did you know Evian is naive spelled backwords?
  • Eat enough leafy greens to feed the world's population of rabbits twice over.
  • If you do both of these things you should be in the position that you are really just one good poop away from a weight loss.
But in case you need more help there are a few often overlooked things you can do to ensure a weight loss.
  • Shave! Believe me your husband will thank you anyway. You might also consider a hair cut.
  • Make sure that you go to the bathroom before you weigh in, Hey, every ounce counts!
  • Pick out, NOT your most flattering outfit but your LIGHTEST. I have a "weigh-in T-shirt". It's practically see through but it weighs next to nothing!
  • And don't forget to exhale all of that heavy air from your lungs when you step on the scale. I've totally blown out .3 lb before!
Well I hope these "tips" will help you to be successful at your next weigh in too.

Current Weight:  279 lbs.                     Weight Loss:  30.2 lbs.**

Peace Out!
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   *Results not typical and may vary.
 **I've reached my first big milestone. I've now lost 10% of my original body weight. 
***Seriously people I'm talking outta my ass here but what's really sad is that I've totally had these thoughts before.

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