Thursday, July 19, 2012

Writer's Workshop: Sleeping Single

2.) Tell us about the last thing you complained about.
How was the issue resolved?

     I complain pretty frequently about my lack of sleep. I think as Mommies it's just a way of living. But I took charge of my sleep patterns and did something pretty radical. I moved out of the bedroom!
     I'm pretty sure that I've mentioned this before but it never fails to surprise people when they hear it. The Hubby and I sleep in separate beds. Up until recently we even had separate bedrooms. I'm not exactly sure why, but this knowledge always seems to illicit very strong feelings in others.

     The majority of my girlfriends are absolutely appalled by this arrangement. "How do you... ya know," they always ask. Quite frequently is my standard answer, which is all the more apparent by the appearance of our three children into our lives (and sometimes our beds). It actually was my final pregnancy and subsequent birth(s) that proved to be the deciding factor. Being HUGELY pregnant with twins means that there is no comfortable way to sleep and after they were born all I did was breastfeed them. Like, constantly. And all they did was cry. Like, CONSTANTLY. So I moved out of the bedroom; one of us needed to get some sleep. After things settled down I tried moving back in and found that the things I once found endearing were just impossible to tolerate, in my current sleep deprived state.
 It wasn't always like this, I remember those first couple of years of marriage.... *insert some sappy flashback music here* We would go to bed at the same time and wile away the hours talking (No that's not code!) and cuddling or doing blanket drills. (Yes, THAT was code.) And after we would nod off, we spent the night spooned around our own individual body pillows. Hands would drift across that imaginary line down the middle of the bed, searching for reassurance that the other was still there and impromptu bear hugs from an unconscious paramour was considered sweet. But one can only live on love for so long and then you've just got to get some god damned sleep!
    The reasons for this "unconventional" arrangement are as numerous as they are varied. He's a steam roller with no concept of personal sleeping space, a blanket hog-which is ironic because he could heat our 3 bedroom house if we could only harness his nocturnal body heat, and a midnight groper (and Boobie Town closes after 3 AM). Oh and "allegedly", I snore like a "frickin' freight train". His words. I still believe he grossly exaggerates.
     Reasons #32, 356, and 357 are our kids. Very few nights go by when one or all three of them don't end up finding their way down into our subterranean bedroom. And all three of them take after their father in their propensity to kick, grope, and sleep diagonally in the bed.
     So is it really so wrong to sleep separately? I mean, Ricky and Lucy did it. In all honestly, I think if more people tried it they too would find it hard to go back to sharing. You can't tell me you enjoy the bouncing around as your partner moves or gets up. Anyone else's Hubby attempted to murder them by smothering lately? It obviously hasn't effected our sex life--we do have 3 children after all. Which seems to be everyone's "concern". Only difference is now, I get some sleep... that is if the children don't try to sleep with me....

Peace Out!
All images and written work, found herein, is the sole property of Rebecca Burton and may not be used in any capacity without express written consent.