24 January 2013

Writer's Workshop: What the F@^& is Wrong with My Kids?

What made you laugh this week?

If you're a parent, you know the WTF moments aren't for the faint of heart. I don't know.... Maybe it just my kids but there are so many things that I never thought I would have to explain to anyone, that I end up explaining to these little brain-dead people. It makes me more than a little crazy.

Papa, for Christmas, got the children those VTech tablets. The kids call them iPads and for some reason I find that rather funny. Mostly because I would never buy my three kids (who are all under the age of 7) an "adult" tablet, because I think it screams pretentious I would never get children a gift that I couldn't justify getting for myself, but that's just me.

The kids LOVE them! They play games (while actually learning something), and kinda lay off asking me for my phone so they can play Angry Birds make videos, draw and take pictures and I feel safe letting them use them unsupervised because they can't access the internet or buy things without my approval.

Well, I felt safe (past tense). That is, until Papa pointed out that "the Spasm" had kiddie porn on his tablet!

Ok, that might be a slight exaggeration. But he did have naked pictures of his and his brother's five year old backsides on there! And some video of them streaking through their bedroom... repeatedly saying the word penis, while waving it around and cracking up. Yeah.... It was like an episode of Kindergartners Gone Wild.

I was understandably shocked and appalled. I had really hoped that Porter was asleep that day I rented and watched Magic Mike while he napped.

So I spent an hour of my evening erasing the porn the questionable material from his tablet. The next day I had a frank talk, with both boys, about privacy and our bodies, that was more uncomfortable for me than watching my 5 year old sons do their naked impersonation of the Gangnam Style guy.

When it was all said and done, I think we all learned something. The boys learned that our bodies are wonderful creations that probably should remain clothed when being recorded and I learned that the male fascination with their own genitalia is very deeply ingrained. That and if you hear the word penis enough times you  too will laugh no matter how shocked  you think you should be.

Peace Out!
This post was inspired by Mama Kat's Pretty Much World Famous Writing Workshop! Pin It
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