It's Time You Knew


I'm ready to tell you the reason I haven't written in awhile. Porter is bipolar and more than likely, autistic. I didn't want to share this with anyone, for reasons that aren't particularly clear to me. I just didn't want anyone to treat him differently; I just wanted everything to be alright. But it's not alright.

Three weeks ago, Porter told teachers and the SRO officer that he wanted to die. His behavior became increasingly violent, both to himself, his siblings, his environment and to me.

Three weeks ago, we had to commit our son--my baby. I had to leave him, in the care of strangers, while they restrained him and he screamed that he hated me.

Porter was locked away for a week while his meds were changed and he was weaned off the medications that we think caused the suicidal thoughts. We could visit him one hour a day, between six and seven PM.

After seven days he was released back into our care but things haven't improved.

We made the decision yesterday that Porter needs to be in a program better suited to his needs, so he's been removed from his school. He begins the new program on Monday.

So if you are witness to (or have witnessed) any of Porter's behaviors, please know that we are doing absolutely everything we can to help him. The whispers and evil looks don't make this situation any easier, so if you can't be understanding at least do us the favor of ignoring us.

I can only pray that things will eventually get better for him and our family.

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